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Author Topic: GODZILLA VS KONG plus MONSTER HUNTER  (Read 51 times)
jdv
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Where does the strength come from?


« on: April 05, 2021, 11:24:53 AM »

Both are big, dumb, loud, and fun. 

KONG

This movie gets all the big stuff right - like making Godzilla obviously stronger/more dangerous.  DJ DeJardens' (WATCHMEN, 300) SFX are everything you'd want them to be, and the cast is decent (Brian Tyree Henry steals the show as an Alex Jones-like character), and they bring back characters from the other movies which is a nice touch. 

While the movie is super predictable (as the movie started I wondered aloud which other monster would force Kong & Zilla to join forces), it didn't detract from the popcorn chomper fun.  But it's far from perfect - Besides spending far too much time on a hollow earth gag that remains too silly even for a giant monster movie, the movie doesn't have any stars.  Like none.

No up & coming Will Smith in INDEPENDANCE DAY, no established mega star like Chuck Heston in PLANET OF THE APES, this movie needed a bit more human star wattage.  Basically, this movie needed John C. Riley, and he's no where to be found.  The music, sad to say, is also very pedestrian.   It's not awful, but you won't be buying the album.  Lots of opportunity missed music-wise.   

BOTTOM LINE: 3 "cut the fight scenes together and leave out the rest" out of 5

MONSTER HUNTER

Rented this for the kids as the B picture for KONG.  Turned out to be, in many ways, the better movie.  Schlock-master Paul W. S. Anderson once again directs his wife, the now not quite so hot Milla Jovovich, kicking the crap out of monsters on an alien planet.

Also starring Tony Jaa and Ron Pearlman, this fim has more raw star power than KONG does, and has a more interesting, unpredictable, plot.  A sort of mix of ROBINSON CARUSO ON MARS meets THE MIST while playing TIME BANDITS, this flick is a fun mash-up of different genre movie ideas. 

just the chance to see Tony Jaa kicking butt again - he's now 45 years old - almost worth the price of admission by himself.  And he has good chemistry with Jovovich, who still has good kung fu chops herself.

Everyone liked the movie, and I would have watched a sequel (the movie bombed).

BOTTOM LINE: 3 "any movie that features a kung fu cat man chef AND Tony Jaa can't be all bad" out of 5
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jdv
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Where does the strength come from?


« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2021, 07:37:01 PM »

Thought about ZILLA V KONG some more, and the more I do the more I wonder why there wasn't a single name actor in this movie.

How expensive can Jeff Goldbloom be?  Shit, Dane Cook is a bigger star then anyone in this movie, and he's working at a Starbucks.

I mean, I get that the monsters are the stars, but dang.
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« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2021, 11:03:04 AM »

Well, I watched it.

Perhaps better to say: I suffered through it.

Holy chow.  I'd compare it to a community theatre production, but I don't want to piss off any community players.

There was so much cringe I'm pretty sure I cracked a molar.

I mean this was BAD.   Plus, dude....

Dude.




Dude.


THE ROAR

Where is THE ROAR??

When Godzilla appears, that shit needs to PUMP.  Instead.....limp wristed.

You were right about the music.  I've been more inspired by Geico commercials.

And I think this needs to be our show topic for this evening.


Maybe the inevitable sequel will be a bigger hit?


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jdv
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Where does the strength come from?


« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2021, 11:34:57 AM »

Nice penis!

Look, it's a movie about a 100 foot tall pre-historic semi-intelligent ape fighting an intelligent giant radioactive dinosaur monster that can spit fire....

So a low bar for expectations. 

I don't know - the CG was good, and there was a lot of monster screen time.  That script was bloated/bland and there was a total-lack of star power BUT the movie delivers on the only promise it makes - the 2 characters fight.

Put it to you this way - would you rather watch ZILLA V KONG again, or BATMAN V SUPERMAN?
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Warpig
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« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2021, 12:17:40 PM »

Nice penis!

Look, it's a movie about a 100 foot tall pre-historic semi-intelligent ape fighting an intelligent giant radioactive dinosaur monster that can spit fire....

So a low bar for expectations. 

I don't know - the CG was good, and there was a lot of monster screen time.  That script was bloated/bland and there was a total-lack of star power BUT the movie delivers on the only promise it makes - the 2 characters fight.

Put it to you this way - would you rather watch ZILLA V KONG again, or BATMAN V SUPERMAN?

Both films have to answer the same question: how are you making this boring?
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And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads:

And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.  _ Revelations 13
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