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Author Topic: Even Disney friendly reviewers hate on RISE OF SKYWALKER  (Read 782 times)
jdv
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« on: December 17, 2019, 02:35:42 PM »

The reviews are coming in, and most aren't good.  Mind you, these are the same type of hacks that told us GHOSTBUSTERS was comic gold... which is why Disney let them into the screening in the first place:

"Mike Ryan of Uproxx:

STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER is certainly the most convoluted Star Wars. There is a lot I liked, but the first half gets so bogged down with exposition and new plot and doodads and beacons and transmitters, it feels like it should have been three movies on its own.

My favorite Star Wars are the ones that take their time and focus on the characters. The whole first half felt like all exposition. It does get better. And Lando rules. But there’s just so much plot it feels so rushed. And the Emperor stuff is so weird.

I had a dream that I dreamt this movie and was like "whew." Now I’m awake and bummed out again."

&

Eric Eisenberg of CinemaBlend:

"There is good in Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker. But there is more that is disappointing. There are a number of choices that just don't track, fan service that doesn't work, and ignored details that are missed. I'm bummed."

&

Scott Mendelsohn of Forbes (a true Disney slappy):

"At worst, I expected #TheRiseOfSkywalker to be a well made movie that I didn't like or whose story choices I disagreed with. I was not expecting a genuinely bad movie with video game plotting, thin characters, weak action and endless exposition of no consequence. Heartbreaking..."

&

John Campea, another Disney slappy:

"Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker reaction - There are a few big great moments, and I'm sure a lot of people are going to love this movie. Unfortunately, I'm just not one of them. Hopefully I'll like it a little bit more after I see it again tomorrow."
-----------------------------------------

Don't worry though - Disney released a press announcement today claiming the film "fosters gender equality" which of course is the first thing on most people's minds when they're thinking about seeing a $10 movie featuring spaceships with warp drive, talking robots, magical powers, and pew-pew lazor guns.

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« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2019, 02:37:47 PM »

Yep. I've been hearing its the most divisive Star Wars film yet. But thats not too high a bar thanks to everything after Empire. I might go see a cheap morning show of the latest one, but I don't feel any drive to see it opening night.

And that aint good.
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« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2019, 02:39:22 PM »

My biggest question about Episode 9...

Do we see Finn and Rose KISS AGAIN!?!?!?! WILL ANYONE CARE?Huh??
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jdv
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« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2019, 02:43:25 PM »

My biggest question about Episode 9...

Do we see Finn and Rose KISS AGAIN!?!?!?! WILL ANYONE CARE?Huh??

Who?  I'm being serious - I have no idea who you're talking about.  Are they in the other 2 flicks?

Yeah, not exactly Lando & Leah, are they?  But hey, I'm sure a 150 year old translator robot is in it, and that's what really matters.
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« Reply #4 on: December 17, 2019, 05:24:27 PM »

Does said robot have a RED ARM!?!?
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« Reply #5 on: December 17, 2019, 05:30:33 PM »

Does said robot have a RED ARM!?!?

I certainly hope so.  Might as well not have a movie otherwise.
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« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2019, 12:59:26 PM »

It's now the worst rated STAR WARS movie in history (and again, many reviewers haven't had the "privilege of watching it)

Here are some of the more positive reviews.  Seriously:

The Guardian:  “The movie snaps together like a jigsaw puzzle, a series of concluding beats that seem inevitable and perfect, and designed to please all parties, so long as you don’t dwell on the logic too much.”

ScreenRant: “The Rise of Skywalker gets bogged down in exposition and course-correcting The Last Jedi, but does have some fun moments and fan service.”

Esquire: “In the end, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker is fine, it is mostly satisfying-but unexpected or bold it is not.”

Empire Magazine: “It looks gorgeous and offers strong performances from Driver and Ridley in particular, but ultimately the saga ends with neither a bang nor a whimper but something in-between.”
--------------------------------------

Let me translate what this means from gutless reporter afraid the Mouse will deny them in the future - it's hot garbage.

By some estimates, RISE will have to gross $1 billion just to break even.  And the real money maker - toys & merch - sit untouched on shelves since the first of these pieces of trash.

The only real question is will Disney simply pretend none of these happened going forward, or will future sequels feature the actors/plotlines from what is some of the worst, ill thought out films ever made.

https://www.breitbart.com/entertainment/2019/12/18/nolte-rise-of-skywalker-earns-second-worst-reviews-in-star-wars-history/
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« Reply #7 on: December 18, 2019, 02:50:23 PM »

Can we all agree that future Star Wars films (To quote Thanos, 'they are inevitable') DON'T need to be focused around the Skywalkers?
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« Reply #8 on: December 18, 2019, 03:00:34 PM »

Can we all agree that future Star Wars films (To quote Thanos, 'they are inevitable') DON'T need to be focused around the Skywalkers?

If only you were able to tell that to JJ Abrams 8 years ago, maybe none of this would have happened.
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« Reply #9 on: December 18, 2019, 04:26:27 PM »

I'm working on a time machine as we speak. I also need to warn them about an unfunny Ghostbusters film back in 2016.
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« Reply #10 on: December 18, 2019, 07:09:25 PM »

I'm working on a time machine as we speak. I also need to warn them about an unfunny Ghostbusters film back in 2016.

Keep me posted on your progress.
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And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads:

And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.  _ Revelations 13
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« Reply #11 on: December 18, 2019, 09:56:11 PM »

I'm working on a time machine as we speak.

Yes, but be sure to tell the producers of the AVENGERS not to....
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« Reply #12 on: December 21, 2019, 07:58:48 PM »

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« Reply #13 on: December 24, 2019, 03:13:14 PM »

So... it's looking like RISE might not break even as sales are down 30% even from the last turd-burger of a movie.  Of course, the toys sales are much much worse.  Hardly a way to end a trilogy.

Of course, Disney will eventually memory hole the entire thing, so maybe it's for the best.



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« Reply #14 on: December 24, 2019, 06:29:51 PM »

Meme war is real.
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And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads:

And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.  _ Revelations 13
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