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Author Topic: 2020 - First Glance  (Read 286 times)
Warpig
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« on: December 02, 2019, 02:18:45 PM »

With the year winding down, instead of looking back at the crapfest that was, let us look forward to the crapfest that will be.

New Movies for 2020

The Call of the Wild : Nobody’s in it except Harrison Ford, who isn’t popular enough to open a film anymore.  Flop

Antebellum : Horror. Looks like stupid, racist propaganda.  Apparently, Hollywood thinks that every day we’re in 1865.  Flop

Sonic the Hedgehog : Notable for the fact that when fans reacted to the initial CG version of Sonic, the outcry was so tremendous that they went back and changed it and made it infinitely better.  Hit

Emma : Nobody gives a fuck about Jane Austen.  Most people don’t even know who she is.  Flop

No Time to Die : New Bond flick.  Crap.  Flop.

Black Widow : Can Marvel create a post-Avengers hit?  Can Scarlett Johansson’s fading beauty open a major movie?  RDJ sneaks in because it’s a ‘tweener’ movie, so he’s still alive in this time period.  Man…..tough call.  Even with Jeremy Renner….whew.  Not a flop, but not a blockbuster either. Minor hit.

The SpongeBob Movie: Is SB still popular enough to make money.  Yep.  Hit

The Gentlemen : Does Guy Ritchie still have it in him?  Is there still a market for hip crime movies?  Is Matthew McConaughey bankable?  No, no, and no.  Flop

Wonder Woman 1984 : Well, the first WW was pretty successful.  Will this one be too?  Sources seem to indicate disaster imminent.  Flop

Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn : This looks so bad, it’s almost indescribable.  Massive flop.

Fantasy Island : Actually looks kind of nifty.  Decent looking horror, nice twist on the original TV show.  Hit.

Underwater : Non-R rated horror is a hit or miss proposition.  Kirsten Stewart is increasingly looking like she exists only because of Twilight.  The no-shit police have been alerted.  Flop

Eternals
: Along with Black Widow, this will be Marvel’s attempt to launch Phase 4, post- Endgame, post-RDJ.  Can they do it?  Are audiences ready for this kind of cosmic shit?  Hard to bet against them, isn’t it?  Hit

The Invisible Man : Actually looks pretty decent.  Horror, it will make money.  Hit

Halloween Kills : Shit title.  Horror, it will probably make money as long as they didn’t spend any money on it and they release it around Halloween.  Probable Hit

Bad Boys for Life : The sequel nobody wanted with an actor nobody likes about a decade too late.  Major bomb, will permanently end Will Smith’s career.  So bad, that Martin Lawrence isn’t even listed as a ‘star’ in it.  FLOP

Top Gun : Maverick : Can St. Cruise deliver?  Will reboot mania finally reach its end?  Can a sequel to a movie from the 80’s work?  Whew……Hit.

Dune : We’re trying this again?  Zendaya is in it, so is Jason Momoa.  Twin doses of Box Office Poison.  Massive, I mean next-world level fail.  Flopzilla

Godzilla vs King Kong : How’s everyone’s appetite for giant monster movies?  They seem to make money, if not being blockbusters.  They seem to be building a kind of MCU for monster movies.  Not a bad idea, actually.  Hit

The Kings Man : Ugh, the Kingsman series started with a decent movie that COULD have launched a new Bond competitor.  Sadly the sequel was so monumentally bad that they had to launch a prequel.  A WWI prequel no less.  Sorry man, Flop.

Ghostbusters 2020 : Bringing back the original cast to re-re-launch the franchise?  Directed by Ivan Reitman’s kid, no less.  I’m torn here.  I need to see more data, but "2020" actually being in the title is a bad sign. Hopefully that's a working title.  Undecided

Mulan : Live-action reboots of Disney animated films have a notorious history of flopping badly.  This will be no exception.  Flop

Dolittle : Can RDJ deliver on a non-Marvel movie?  Wisely incorporating kids elements and Tom Holland?  This will probably make money.  Hit

The Grudge : Yet another American reboot of the relatively popular Japanese horror series.  It’s horror, it will make money. Hit

New Bill and Ted :  Wow.  Is Keanu Reeves bankable or not?  This is a tough call.  Ugh.  Hit.

West Side Story : Spielberg + Musicals + 2020?  = Crap.  Steve’s magic is gone.  It’s been gone since Schindler’s, which isn’t really magic in that case, is it?  FLOP

Chaos Walking : Here’s the plotline: A dystopian world where there are no women and all living creatures can hear each others' thoughts in a stream of images, words, and sounds called Noise.  With Daisy Ridley.  Yeah, no.  Flop

The New Mutants :  Kinda wore out the whole “new” thing with Mutants, haven’t they?  Flop

The Tomorrow War : Dangerous waters for Chris Pratt.  Needs to deliver outside GOTG.  Also, it’s Sci-Fi….dicey.  Will need to see more on it.  Undecided

Jungle Cruise :  BOP Dwayne Johnson scored a minor hit with Jumanji, which has a sequel for this Christmas.  Can he go to the well a third time to essentially play the same character?  Maybe.  Hit

The Conjuring 3 : Patrick Wilson, once a burgeoning heartthrob who went from fucking Kate Winslet stupid on a dryer in “Little Children” to being basically Father Merrin in the first two Conjurings, the Insidious series, and Annabelle, all of which were successful.  Can we do it a third time?  Yes, this will be a hit.

Venom 2 :  Not a hit the first time, won’t be a hit the second time.  Tom Hardy drifting towards BOP status.  Flop

Antlers : Creepy looking monster movie.  It’s horror, it will make money.  Hit

Death on the Nile : What the fuck are you doing?  Agatha Christie movies?  Seriously?  Who fucking reads?  Flop

Monster Hunter :  Paul WS Anderson helms a live-actioner based on a pretty popular video game with his wife Milla Jovovich.  Sound familiar?  I think it will make money.  Hit.

Those are my thoughts on the coming year.
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And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads:

And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.  _ Revelations 13
jdv
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« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2019, 02:47:18 PM »

I disagree with you on some predictions, but that's really neither here nor there.

What's shocking - stunning really - is just how bad next year looks.  Mostly sequels and reboots from flicks and video games from the '80's.  Nothing original, nothing new.

There's only 4 movies on the list I would dream of seeing.  For free.  Certainly nothing to drag me into a theater (OK, maybe DUNE).

Feature films in movies theatres will simply cease to exist if this slop continues.
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Warpig
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« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2019, 03:05:06 PM »

Yeah, it's a model that just doesn't look like it can work anymore.

Why go to a theatre and sit with a bunch of yahoos, paying through the nose for bad food when you can just pop on Netflix or Prime and watch in the comfort of your own home for basically nothing?

Now, here's the other issue then:  How much money to Netflix movies actually 'make'?

Hollywood has a serious problem.  Their movies are increasing in cost to produce, but the audience for them is shrinking and is not willing to pay as much.  I actually don't think it's sustainable, which means what?

New business model or dead art form?
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And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads:

And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.  _ Revelations 13
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« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2019, 03:56:50 PM »

New business model or dead art form?

Well, it's something we've been talking about in regards to EGE.  The amount of films being produced is now at an all time high.  I get sent links to a dozen new indie movies a month from multiple companies and rarely watch any of them.  These flicks usually have a washed up star, or the son of.  The production value is usually at, or below, EGE productions.

On the other extreme are what Hollywood puts out now - flicks costing at least $40 million, but usually much more then that.  $100 mil budgets, once an extreme rarity, now the norm with advertising budgets to match.

Contrast that to the late '70's/early '80's when 20th Century Fox balked at giving George Lucas $14 million for STAR WARS.  ALIEN cost $11 million. CONAN THE BARBARIAN from 1982 cost $16 mil.  '87's PREDATOR cost $17 million.

You get the idea.  And these were the premiere, biggest budget flicks of their time.  Obviously other studio movies and indie flicks had far smaller budgets yet still managed to create new, entertaining content.  All the Chuck Norris flicks, ROCKY, HAWK THE SLAYER... the list goes on.

Flash forward today and what are people talking about?  Certainly not anything at the cineplex.  It's tv shows via the internet.  MANDOLARIAN, LETTER KENNY, SOUTH PARK, JACK RYAN - that's what people talked about with me over the Thanksgiving holiday.  Not a single film was mentioned, other then deriding RISE OF SKYWALKER, a movie not a single person I talked to seemed interested in seeing.

And you touched on it Pig - why venture forth to ever more boorish crowds with ever more costly popcorn to ever more awful dreck when you can stay at home and either watch an old classic, or a new decent TV show?

Movies at all levels are in a lot of trouble.
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Warpig
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« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2019, 06:51:49 PM »


There's only 4 movies on the list I would dream of seeing.  For free.  Certainly nothing to drag me into a theater (OK, maybe DUNE).



Dude, let me try again:

Jason Momoa and "Zendaya".

You KNOW it's crap, man.

You KNOW IT IS!

Why pretend, man?
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And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads:

And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.  _ Revelations 13
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« Reply #5 on: December 02, 2019, 06:59:20 PM »

Yeah, I have no idea who or what Zendaya is.

I wonder if there's anyone alive that can actually open a movie, other then maybe Tom Cruise in TOP GUN 2 (really the only movie I know I'll see in the theatre).

Movies are dead.
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Warpig
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« Reply #6 on: December 02, 2019, 10:21:46 PM »

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And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads:

And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.  _ Revelations 13
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