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Author Topic: RISE OF SKYWALKER bombs in first test screenings  (Read 413 times)
jdv
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A broken hero of the Hollywood scene....


« on: November 11, 2019, 05:28:12 PM »

Because, presumably, it sucked that bad:

"A new rumor indicates that Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker test screenings introduce a new “secret Skywalker.”

Not only does this rumor indicate there will be a new “secret Skywalker,” but the character is the result of disastrous test screenings.  The rumor comes from YouTuber Doomcock, who states:

    “The first act, which all of the reviewers thought was pretty good, garnered a 65, which is really not too bad.

    The second act scored a 12, which is really, really bad.

    The third act scored a 4 with only the folks just as likely to view any movie giving it any points at all. 

    “The common theme, I’m told, is that Rey doesn’t win as much as literally stomps a mudhole in the Emperor’s ass. When this happens all the screeners burst into laughter.”

After the film was viewed by Disney CEO Bob Iger, he ordered a redo.  Doomcock’s source also notes that Lucasfilm and Disney have spent almost $300 million after the first test screenings were received so poorly."
-----------------------------------

While normally I'd give a grain of salt for anything from a man called "doomcock," considering what a complete cluster-fuck Disney is these days, I'll give this rumor some credence.

https://boundingintocomics.com/2019/11/08/rumor-star-wars-the-rise-of-skywalker-to-feature-secret-skywalker/
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Warpig
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« Reply #1 on: November 11, 2019, 05:53:37 PM »

All you have to know about "Doomcock" is that he didn't write this shit.

Actually, I've never heard of him either, but Lord above, we are SWIMMING in shit these days.
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jdv
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A broken hero of the Hollywood scene....


« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2019, 02:06:13 PM »

Sadly, it will still gross a billion dollars. 
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« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2019, 02:12:34 PM »

They'll make it gross over a billion, even if they have to spend half a billion buying their own tickets.
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« Reply #4 on: December 30, 2019, 01:49:23 PM »

Who has two thumbs and went and saw The Rise of Skywalker?

THIS GUY.

The choices made were baffling. It followed in the footsteps of SOLO with questions answered that no one was asking and closing 40 year old internet bitch points that only super nerds would still care about.

Lots of memberberries and shit like that. The theater I was in was maybe 1/4 full and no one made A SOUND during it. No "YEAH!" or anything. Just silence the entire time.



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jdv
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A broken hero of the Hollywood scene....


« Reply #5 on: December 30, 2019, 02:00:09 PM »

I have no words.....

I have scotch though.  That might ease the pain.
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« Reply #6 on: December 30, 2019, 03:27:48 PM »

Oh, I was 'enabled' but I still didn't quite enjoy it. The RLM guys have a review out and my son was amazed that I basically mentioned ALL their points before we watched it. The problems are that glaring and specific.
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jdv
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A broken hero of the Hollywood scene....


« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2019, 01:38:30 PM »

Oh, I was 'enabled' but I still didn't quite enjoy it. The RLM guys have a review out and my son was amazed that I basically mentioned ALL their points before we watched it. The problems are that glaring and specific.



Did you or RLM hit on the most important error in the new trilogy?  Simply put, it was always a money grab, never an organic creation by a storyteller with an idea.  Never a reason to tell the "story" that they were telling, never a true relation to the original story, other then Disney likes money.  By ignoring George Lucas, this abomination never had a chance.

That fatal error then vastly magnified in the RISE because of the added weight of wokeness.  Then magnified again when the producers of this piece of shit then attacked the fans who had made it the most popular franchise in the world.

What a fucking disaster.
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jdv
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A broken hero of the Hollywood scene....


« Reply #8 on: January 03, 2020, 02:22:45 PM »

Looking more and more like RISE will lose money, as it's stalled out at $815 million.  Given the rumored $400-500 mil budget, plus at least $100 mil in ads, that means RISE is nowhere close to breaking even. 

The first thing Disney should do is send George Lucas an apology for butt-fucking STAR WARS with no lube.

The second thing it should do is fire Kathleen Kennedy, and everyone on her staff.

Then whoever hired Kennedy in the first place should be given an hour long swirly.

OR, they should make the next STAR WARS about a tranny who really has some super force powers.  Either or.
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